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- Is that a Tic-Tac in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
- Did anyone ever tell you that you look kinda like the Zima guy?
- Could you zip my fly? My hands are wet.
- What's a nice body like you doing with a face like this?
- Paper or plastic?
- Did you fart?
- So, you want to get pregnant?
- Weren't you on America's Most Wanted last night?
- Wanna see the scar from when I got shanked in the pen?
- Didn't I see you at the premiere of Ishtar ?
- Here's your SSI check.
- Excuse me, you're sitting on my SSI check.
- Pull my finger.
- Want some candy, little girl?
- I have a metal plate in my head... feel!
- It's tool time!
- Could I interest you in a copy of Watchtower ?
- Would you like fries with that ?
- Mind if I breastfeed?
- Are those real?
- Do these look real?
- Good news, the test results are negative!
- Excuse me... do you speak Klingon?
- Let's go to my house and try out my new beer bong.
- I haven't had sex since the Bush administration.
- Honk! Honk!
- Can I buy you a Whopper Jr. or something?
- I have eight cats.
- Well, I lost the bet.
- You're not one of those FAL guys, are you?
- Haven't I boinked you somewhere before?
- If you scream I'll kill you!
- I think I'm gonna be sick.
- Hi. I'm a Mormon.
- Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?
- You know, my infection has cleared up.
- I wouldn't have had the nerve to talk to you, before I went "clear"! Would you like to take a free personality test?
- Wanna wrestle?
- Do you like DEVO?
- Wanna help unfold my futon?
- I got spurs that jingle jangle jingle!
- Has anyone ever mistaken you for a man?
- Weren't you in the holiday issue of Screw?
- Wanna go to Incredible Universe?
- I left the car running, let's go get corked!
- Do you know the way to San Jose?
- Lambada!
- Could you help me potty?
- Have you heard of "The LOOP"?
- Is that wedding ring real?
- Do you need show ID to buy non-alcoholic beer?
- I'm in the Libertarian party.
- Bleah. You ever hear of "deodorant"?
- Hi, I'm Bob Saget.
- Fire!
- I'd like to staple raw bacon all over your body.
- I have three months to live.
- Let's have dinner on my Garfield plates.
- Yup, your search is finally over.
- We could spoon at my place...my mom's out for the night.
- I was a breech birth.
- Wanna piece of this?
- You, me and a tub full of flan...
- Honk! If you're horny.
- I'm wearing a condom right now.
- Do you have any cortisone at your house...?
- Wanna see my gun collection?
- I haven't had sex since the Carter administration.
- Hey, you sweet hunk of stuff, what's shakin'?
- Let's go back to my house and watch blooper tapes!
- I am the prophet, and those peanuts are of satan.
- Let's get ready to rumble!
- I can eat my weight in weiners!
- Your trailer or mine?
- I am the Keymaster. Are you the Gatekeeper?
- Don't forget the Beano!
- Oops. I think my truss is riding up.
- I can see the music!
- Hey, babe - ever done it in the Oval Office?
- You look like you need to be moistened.
- Wanna sign my yearbook?
- You can reach me online - here's my E-mail address...
- Cooties!
- I've got real bad cramps.
- Are you beautiful... or am I just really high?
- Who's your Pimp?
- You gotta see my comic book collection.
- My purse is made from human skin.
- Your little sister is really beautiful.
- Your older brother is such a hunk!
- Boner-city!
- Polly wanna cracker?
- Going to your place may violate my probation.
- I just read this funny article about the 101 least effective pick up lines.
- Is that... mayo on your chin?
- What are you?
- I need to marry someone tonight so I can stay in the country.
- My 'roids are flaring up again.
- Your handshake makes me feel all icky.
- I haven't had sex since the Taft administration.
- Mommy...?
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