FALSpeak - Dyslexicon


Communicate the FAL Way

Artdork - A person who forgoes social respectability and financial success in order to further advance his/her creative expression.
"Doodle me a college fund, you paternal artdork, you."

Audible Sound - A sonic technique by which certain frequencies are detectable by the unaided human ear.

BLIMP - Acronym for "Buddy" Lee International Media Publications, FAL's former foster parent company.

Brian - Any son less talented, intelligent, likable or successful than his father. Often used hypothetically, where no son actually exists but the anticipated result is of far less quality than the "father" would produce.
"It's painful to watch - like Brian Gilliam on horse tranquilizers."

BygByte - A measurement of data storage equal to a gazillion gigabytes.

Cartoonology - The tireless study of cartoon production and techniques, cartoonists, and the cultural impact of cartoon art. An introductory course for prospective cartoonists was written by Erik Lobo.

Cartoonomorphizing - Depicting a human or animal in ways that increase the subject's resemblance to a cartoon character. (Example: Jim Carrey.) (cp. comechomorphizing, toward traits found in traditional comech books or strips).

CoDeprocessor - A stupor-computer that observes trends, then calculates the undermining of art and culture for the purpose of maximizing The 'LOOP's' profits.

Comech - Printed or digital comics, usually colored by mechanical means, originally developed by FAL Studios. In general use, a contemporary equivalent of comic.

Comikazi - 1. Comics that self-destruct.
2. A section of FAL Brand Funny Pages.

Compu-Coverization - FAL's trade-secret formula for assembling and colorizing cover elements for print.

Computapoll - An electronically tabulated survey of general approval levels ranking otherwise unrelated things, ideas and cultural icons.

CTG Marketing - Cradle-To-Grave Marketing.
Example: client begins life wearing Muppet Babies diapers... in his old age draws his last breath in Muppet Babies diapers... and in between, every need is tied to products with Muppets on them.

DSC - Double-Secret Corporation.
A company controlled by the 'LOOP' that owns two or more firms with diametrically opposed purposes. Most of their motivations, services and alliances are unknown to the general public.
Example: A company which controls a national dental association and a manufacturer of sugary sweets.

The Death of Cool - The confirmed and utter devaluation of the smooth, rebellious, self-assured attitude personified by the public image of James Dean.
Strongly foreshadowed (as so many things were) by DEVO, "Through Being Cool" (1981).
Seminal proofs include any citation of "what's cool" by the publishers of Time Magazine, and fatal misuses of the original posture of rebelliousness by American public service advertising intended to influence the behavior of minors
("Be Cool - Follow The Rules!").

Dysprocessing - The elimination of usefulness and meaning in consumer goods, as calculated by the 'LOOP' CoDeprocessor.

FutuRustic - Cumbersome, klunky and salvage-cluttered.
Example: the postapocalyptic future of FAL's Nuke Nova.

Hughesmiliation - The process of bringing shame upon a classic pop-culture story or film by making it resemble the work of Home Alone mastermind John Hughes. (cp. 101 Dalmations, Flubber, Miracle on 34th Street, Dennis the Menace, etc.)

Irwinallenomics - A process used to adjust a movie's script, actors and production values in order to decrease capital outlay.

[It's] The Beef Of The Future - A hollow endorsement of a fad that hasn't caught on (and probably never will).
Originally a slogan of 'Buddy' Lee's, originally used during his attempts to market ostrich meat.

Japalope - Art or writing that looks Japanese without actually being Japanese. A term of endearment, not derision.
An example can be seen on the back cover of FAL Brand Funny Pages, Installment 1.

Jive Turkey Day - The Kwaanza of Thanksgiving.

LIRKSFFF - Lactose Intolerant Robo-Karate Stock Film Footage Force.
A group of teenage superheroes assembled from old TV shows in order to make 'Buddy' Lee a very rich media mogul.

The 'LOOP' - A secret world government that perpetuates chaos, crime and ugliness of spirit in order to bolster the profits of their Double Secret Corporations. The symbol of this evil brotherhood is the fallen continuous double helix.

"More Humor Than Humor" - An old FAL Studios motto that echoes "More Human than Human," the motto of the Tyrell Android Corporation, in the superlative film Blade Runner (1982).

Motleymedia - A multimedia presentation that is consistently inconsistent, with seemingly random usage of high- and low-tech.

Neurohygenics - The science of proper humor, pioneered by FAL Labs and created by dedicated artisans. A holistic methodology of treatment for conformist thought patterns.

Outlawnerd - A person, usually male, with tendencies and characteristics often associated with criminality (e.g. drug addiction, motorcycle clubs and/or prison) - as well as some interests associated with geeks (e.g. software proficiency, a fondness for animation, uncommon recreational pursuits and/or pets).

"The outlawnerd/artdork dichotomy is a weak postmodern echo of the classic delineation between 'rockers' and 'mods'..."

Pageomattick - FAL.net's own random selector of online features that have previously met with the approval of many consumers.

[The] Plague - An omnimedia infection of living ideas, created by FAL Labs to defeat The 'LOOP'.

Pulp Diction - A gritty, devil-may-care writing style designed to titillate the reader. By design, contains little or no literary merit and often emulates 1950's pulps.
Name of a section in FAL Brand Funny Pages.

Refinition - The process of refining, revising, redefining and reengineering Neurohygenic thought.

Ridley - The more talented, intelligent, likable or successful brother. Most often used figuratively.
"Just imagine what Ridley Peterson could've done with that premise."

Satiresfaction - A placid, fulfilled state of mind after the comsumption of professionally produced satire.

Screaming Planet - FAL's logo. A world with a pained cartoon grimace.
Inspired by the fate of Alderaan in Star Wars: A New Hope.

Slipping - A quantum shift between our current reality and an alternate one, resulting in unexpected events.
"We won an Emmy? Whoa. Looks like we slipped again."

Soapy Pet - A bar of soap that seemingly grows curly hair while being used for showering or bathing.
Advertised in FAL Brand Funny Pages, Installment #1.

Tony - A less talented, intelligent, likable or successful brother. Most often used figuratively - and not necessarily at the expense of the person to whom it refers, if the relative (or "Ridley") is quite exceptional.
"Who directed this piece of crap? Tony Lucas?"

"We're Making Quality Obsolete" - The motto of FAL Brand Funny Pages.
Subsequently, the motto of Christian Brothers Piano of Grand Rapids, Michigan (replacing "Creating The Illusion We Care".

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