What is this and how do I leave?

Ass-Kicking Motherfucking Miguel Ferrer is a Flash-based website scrutinizing the life and times of actor, musician (drummer for the Jenerators), father and freedom fighter Miguel Ferrer. It is both a disturbingly detailed homage to Crossing Jordan star Miguel Ferrer (airs mondays 10/9pm on NBC) and one of those weird Flash sites where nothing ever stops moving. Oh, and there's audio, so crank up your Karmon Har... Mark Ham... your computer speakers. You can leave this site by hitting the "Enter" button at the bottom of this page.

Well... so... why, exactly?

This website began originally with the singular purpose of Flash experimentation with the end result being publishing to the web. The reason for Miguel Ferrer as the site's subject should be obvious -- he's a bad-ass motherfucker. Actually, it was a toss-up between Miguel Ferrer and the manatee (the lovable aquatic mammal) and Ferrer won out because unlike the docile sea cow, HE can protect himself against boat propellers. Miguel Ferrer is also sensible enough to not bathe and/or frolick in the warm waters near and around toxic-dumping industrial sites. The manatee is cousin to the dugong, whereas Miguel Ferrer is cousin to George Clooney, an actor who pulls in... well, he pulls in WAY more dough in a year than any dugong will in a lifetime.

Most seasoned Flash authors will notice a whole bunch of novice things about Ass-Kicking Motherfucking Miguel Ferrer. And anyone who has passed Miguel Ferrer 101 will undoubtedly notice a lot of information missing and/or outright false. Since the author of this is always working towards quality, he asks that you catalog any errors you find and then keep them to yourself. A third version of this site is on its way, with corrections and an expanded "Ferrer Funzone" that may or may be suitable for kids of all ages, depending on a number of variables.

Things you should know

1.) This site requires a Flash plug-in
2.) The person most directly responsible for this irresponsibility is Tom Working; email him with gripes/veiled threats.
3.) If you can list at least four things from the comic cover (click on it for a larger image) to the left and how they related to Miguel Ferrer, email them on a 3x5 card to the author, you'll win something.
4.) Please, do NOT email the author with questions about play dates for The Jenerators, the band Miguel Ferrer is in with his long time friend Bill Mumy, or for any personal information regarding Miguel Ferrer (where he lives, political affiliation, animal preference, favorite color, his migration patterns, etc.) The author of this site has NO FRICKING CLUE. Go to Bill Mumy's site for that info.
5.) Unless it's a photograph pilfered from somewhere else, most of the material here was made exclusively for this website. Act accordingly.
6.) If time is burning a hole in your pocket and you've got a few seconds to spare, you should also check out Wilbur The Woodchip and Wilbur Reloaded.